It was one of those years where the activity on the Red Carpet outshined the activity in the auditorium. Honestly, we've never been quite so bored during an Oscar broadcast. We almost feel a little silly having friends over, or worrying about that whole Cablevision versus Disney thing.

WINS

1. Sandra Bullock - Epic Win

It probably wasn't the most risque or the most scandalous -- but that's exactly why we loved her classic gold lace and metallic Marchesa gown. She looked poised, polished, and Old Hollywood in deep red lipstick and a sleek down-do -- the perfect date for Oscar, and what do ya know?  She took him home.

2. Tina Fey - Close Win

We would've put her in the Surprising Win category, but the young lady who landed that spot gave us way more of a shock than Tina's totally well played red carpet success after - let's face it - a bit of a funky streak. Michael Kors' leopard print frock totally saved Tina's bacon, and she looks awesome in it.

3. Kristen Stuart - Surprising Win

Dost our eyes deceive? Is this the very same Kristen Stuart we frequently see more disheveled than put-together, more awkward than elegant, more...well...oily than glowing? Indeed it is. The Twilight star traded her trademark scowl for a radiant smile and a sexy midnight blue strapless gown by Monique Lhuillier.

Honorable Mentions:

4. Miley Cyrus

Confession: The 17 year-old pop star really gets under our skin, on a good day. Usually her fashion sense is a bit all over the place, but she managed to pull it together - well - for Oscar. That champagne Jenny Packham gown was absolutely stunning. We almost started to like her a little bit - until we saw how horrible her posture is. Oh, and then she opened her mouth. Darn! So close...

5. Queen Latifah

Hats off to the Queen - she really made us sit up and take notice Oscar night. With radiant hair and makeup, and sparkling diamond accessories, she worked the red carpet like royalty in this lavender, curve-accentuating number.

FAILS

1. Zoe Saldana - Epic Fail

It really hurts us to do this. And actually, we liked the glittering bodice of Zoe's Gavenchy couture gown a lot. But when you pair it with a crumpled-looking waist and a HUGE violet and black ruffled tulle skirt...it just gets confusing.  Like - in a multiple personality disorder type of way. Finally we just trained our eyes to remain upward whenever there was a full body shot of Zoe on TV. Again, we love her, we just wish she hadn't gone all United States of Tara on us.

2. Sarah Jessica Parker - WTF?! Fail

Why did SJP wear a yellow potato sack with aluminum foil stapled to it? Someone explained to us that it was actually a Chanel couture gown, but we're sticking to our potato sack theory. Honestly, it reminded us of something a contestant on Project Runway would whip up in 24 hours during the "unconventional fabrics" challenge.

3. Maggie Gyllenhaal - Regrettable, But Consistent Fail

Maggie does this to us all the time. We think she's incredibly charismatic, talented, and sexy, but it's like she's purposefully picking the tackiest patterns she can find to distract us from her hotness. And she succeeded big time in that Dries Van Noten patterned dress that looked like someone wrapped her in a Hawaiian beach towel. Maggie, darling, your hot! Just accept it and wear something that makes sense, for Pete's sake...

Dishonorable Mentions

4. Vera Farminga (Up in the Air)

Vera, you cannot have your flamenco ruffles and eat your headache-inducing sangria color too. You need to pick one, and have mercy on our eyes.

5. Anna Kendrick (Twilight, Up in the Air)

Anna, you're in your twenties. Not your eighties. That boring blush color almost makes you look invisible, your hair gives us too much of a Gates Motel vibe, and those lace ruffles...are lace ruffles!

6. Faith Hill

We would've put her horrid black lace, Phantom of the Opera-inspired catastrophe in the Epic Fail spot, but we just couldn't bring ourselves to give it the winning position in anything.

"MEH"

1. Gabourey Sidibe (Precious)

The Best Actress nominee was glowing, and she did look very nice in her blue Marchesa off-the-shoulder gown. We just wish she had really gone for something a little less traditional, and a little more glamorous. The dress didn't live up to her dazzling personality, in our humble-o.

2. Charlize Theron

Everyone got their panties in a twist over the strategically placed rosettes on her lilac Christian Diore, but we simply weren't paying attention long enough to care. In fact, if it weren't for those rosettes, the dress wouldn't have any personality left.

3. Rachel McAdams (Sherlock Holmes)

Her Elie Saab gown would've been really stunning, if it weren't for that muted, dingy wallpaper motif that brings the whole thing down into a state of depression. We want to splash a can of red paint on it. Hell, it would be more exciting if it were white.

What did you think of the fashion on the red carpet @ this year's Oscars? Let us know in the comments.

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